What was Judas doing?

What in the world did Judas think he was doing? His actions show a special kind of lack of imagination. But then he was used to being amazed by what Jesus said and did, often even in a tight spot. It happened all the time.

Did he have any idea of what was going to happen to Jesus, if Caiaphas and the Sanhedrin got their hands on him? Did he not realize that Jesus was a threat to their power and authority, no matter what kind of Messiah he was trying to be?

1. If Jesus was a revolutionary, to throw the Romans out of Judaea, and set up a Jewish state, that would start a terrible war. It wouldn't be the first time, and Rome was tired of rebels. Judaea would be crushed. Many people would die, and the Jewish leaders would be ruined. The Roman legions would destroy everything.

2. If Jesus was a pacifist, content to be a preacher, performing miracles, and trying to reform the faith, the people would soon decide to promote him to a position of leadership. This would put their current leaders out on the street, and the whole cult of sacrifice would be upended, not just the money changers and vendors.

3. If Jesus had designs to take over the authority of Judaea, and peacefully let the Roman's withdraw, it was never going to happen.  The High Priest and Sanhedrin would be ousted, and the whole Law would be cast into doubt, pending his personal reinterpretation. Not just the sacrifices, but a whole faction of society, the Pharisees, would lose their place. And the Romans were going nowhere.

4. If Jesus made a public proclamation, which He was fond of doing, that the whole Messiah prophecy had been completely misunderstood, that it wasn't the Romans who were the enemy, but Satan and his minions ... If He made it crystal clear that his Kingdom belongs to Heaven and the world-to-come, the people would lose interest. There would soon be so few followers that there would be no more threat, and no need for any crucifixion. The whole program of salvation would have failed miserably.

Surely, a man who had followed Jesus for three years, would  have listened to Him speak publicly and privately, observed, and even participated in his miracles, and tried to model his behavior after the Master's teachings. How could he not know what would happen?

But we all have the capacity to be overly optimistic, even to the point of deceiving ourselves. Maybe he thought that by simply bringing Jesus before Caiaphas, he could create a crisis that would force Jesus to reveal his actual plans and program. He was trying to kick-start history, and get the ball rolling toward a resolution that would put Jesus in a position of high authority, playing the part He was destined for.

Judas did not mean to betray his Master. When Jesus said that one of his picked twelve would betray him, Judas was as surprised as the rest. And then Jesus told him to go ahead and do what he planned. This was also Jesus' plan, even though He was afraid of what was going to happen. Judas very likely thought the money was a charity for the poor, since that was his job. It was only when Jesus asked if he meant to betray Him with a kiss, then he began to see how things were going terribly wrong.

Still, Judas had faith that Jesus would be able to say the right thing. "The Truth will set you free," as Jesus often said. Judas thought that Jesus could talk his way out of this, and things would get back on track. Maybe the Jewish leaders would even stop giving them so much flak, and let Jesus teach in peace, right in the Temple if He wanted. Jesus always said that, by closely listening to the Holy Spirit, He would be given the right words to speak to the persons in front of Him.

But Judas did not know what had to happen. He did not know that Caiaphas had no interest in listening, but only wanted the Sanhedrin to judge Jesus as guilty of stirring up trouble. He did not know that Jesus did not intend to talk his way out of this. Jesus was looking at this from the ultimate perspective, seeing what his death would mean, and He chose to be silent, until his few answers would only inflame his judges. Judas was dismayed to see this situation unfold, clearly getting out of hand.

Even when Jesus was paraded back and forth between Pilate and Herod, Judas continued to hope Jesus would say something to save Himself from the final humiliation and agony of the cross. "It doesn't have to end this way," he said to himself. But Jesus remained reticent, saying only enough to let Pilate doubt that He deserved crucifixion. And then he heard the unbelievable shouts in the street below Pilate's balcony, "Crucify him!" His spirit was nearly crushed. He hotly confronted Caiaphas, throwing the pitiful offering of thirty silver coins back in his face. It was unclean, "blood money," and could no longer simply be given to the needy.

It was all that Judas could do, just to follow Jesus and watch his agony as He carried his cross through town, out the gate, and up the hill to the execution grounds. Maybe He could still do a great miracle, and impress everyone, showing that He really is the Messiah sent by God to be the shepherd of his people. But every hammer blow struck his mind as painfully as they did the Master's flesh, and when the cross slipped into its upright position, Judas cried out and fell to his knees and down on his face.

And then it was over. Judas knew that the other disciples would blame him for all that had happened. All of their hopes and dreams were smashed beyond any chance of repair. No one would ever let him have any peace, because he was the one who had betrayed his Messiah, his people and his God. His own conscience would haunt him every day, forever and always, to the end of the world. It doesn't matter that his mind is wracked with regret, that he is more sorry for this than he has been for anything before. Nothing went the way it was supposed to go, and now, nothing would ever be the way his Master... his best ever friend... had wanted it to be.

He could not live with what he had done. The burden was too great. Was this the "cross" that Jesus said we each must bear? This was truly the weight of the world, and there was no way to escape it. Jesus died. And so it was, so must he. Judas found a rope, and went looking for a tree by a cliff. He hoisted himself up, crying with remorse for his sin, and for this unavoidable thing he had to do. At last, he remembered that Jesus had said the Father was always merciful. So he prayed, no matter how futile it might be, for some forgiveness of this unforgivable sin, and ended by asking Jesus, too. Then he allowed himself to fall.

The sentinels found him the next morning, where he lay with his neck broken, and his stomach burst from the impact upon the rocks below. The rope was too rotten to properly hang him. There was a pack of dogs fighting over his guts, but the grave digger gathered what he could and put him in an unmarked pit in the field where the beggars were laid.

No one knows what Judas really expected to come from the meeting between Jesus and Caiaphas. Maybe he didn't know what to expect, himself. He just wanted Jesus to get his program started, and receive the respect that He deserved.

And in Truth, that is what happened.
May God have mercy on his soul.